“Joy is an important element of happiness. It is sometimes the difference between striving and thriving. One must nurture the joy in one’s life so that it reaches full bloom.” Maya Angelou
This is my favourite line from her book Rainbow in the Cloud: The Wisdom and Spirit of Maya Angelou
As we go into the second quarter of the year, I thought maybe I should share what’s been happening in my world. Beginning of 2018 I did a Vision Board, I definitely had my year planned out: I was going to be an educated, debt free, skinny girl in love by Dec! That was my vision, by hook or crook I was going to get it done. No, it wasn’t a New Year’s resolution, that was my plan for 2018!
I’m a happy soul, very introverted but a happy one nonetheless. My birthday came in Jan and I was miserable, I put up a facade and happened to fool everyone to believe I was actually happy that day...my birthday month in 2018 will go down as one of the most challenging times in my life. I’d stay up at night unable to sleep, crying and having conversations with God asking Him, actually begging Him to listen to me. Around 3am was when sleep will slowly creep in and 5am the alarm will go off and I had to get ready for work.
Then when I realised I wasn’t coping & I was going back to my depressed state of which I had fought so hard to get out of years ago, I had to call in the big guns - my Mother. You see that lady is a praying woman of God, she is my anchor, we might not agree on some things but she’s the one person I go to when I feel gravely disheartened. So after having a heart wrenching teary filled late night conversation with her she finally suggested that maybe I should resign from my job, she said I was holding on to it but clearly God didn’t want me to, He was waiting to bless me but I have been hindering His blessings for years by holding on to a job that was clearly not meant to be mine. So on Monday morning the 5th of Feb, I resigned from my job of 6 and a half years , with immediate effect! I remember crying all the way from there to home and not because I was regretting my decision but I was relieved
Back to my 2018 Vision Board, I’ve had to make a few changes to accommodate my new lifestyle (unemployed, living off a very low savings budget)
1 - UNISA Higher Certificate qualification has taken a back banner, I’ve enrolled at a long distance college to rewrite my O’Levels because I truly believe I’m now mature enough (16 years later) and according to me, I need to have a proper full certificate in order to make it in life
2 - debt free, guys it’s hard paying for debts when you’re unemployed and running out of cash
3 - New job...well I’m still looking, I’m slowly becoming a professional interview goer
4 - losing weight, I’m an overeater and food addict, I’m really struggling with that and I don’t have the verve for exercise
5 - Love / Love myself, I’m working on that, at least I took the first step and honoured my soul by resigning from work in order to take care of me. Mr Man if you’re out there, holla at this Thick Mama, I’ve got so much love to give you. I’m actually a funny chick when you get to know me (I’m low-key advertising myself because I don’t want to go to Date My Family to look for a dude)
I’m happier now, generally stress free because I live by the mantra Que Sera Sera- Whatever will be, Will be) and I do believe that God is working through me for me to realise and reach my potential. I’m running my own race, at my own pace, at no competition with anyone. I’ve got all the support I need, an amazing family a superb group of friends, what more can a girl ask for really? Absolutely nothing!